Do you do any of the following things for your Teenager?
Do you wake them up?
Do you make them breakfast or Make them a lunch?
Do you do their laundry?
Do you fill out their paperwork for school?
Do you rush to the school with left behind or forgotten items?
Do you help them get supplies or work on their project they start the night before its due?
Do you e-mail the teacher about issues they are having?
Do you check every night to see that their homework is done?
Apparently answering yes means you are holding their personal development back and keeping them from growing into a responsible adult. Hmmmmm I'm somewhat guilty on a few occasions, but I try to make them fend for themselves and become self-sufficient. My mother made sure we did stuff for ourselves once we got into the 8th grade. Do not be an enabler!!!! They need to learn from their mistakes and take responsibility. This will also help ensure they are able to take care of you, when you need some assistance before they lock you in a home somewhere. Maybe if they start doing things on their own, you will feel a bit more generous in curfew and financial fun money.
Getting them up – While it may be cute to go into your kids’ room and get them out of bed, it’s time to let them take responsibility for getting up on their own. Make them set an alarm, and if they’re late they’ll miss breakfast, which may just get them to be more responsible each morning.
Feeding them – While you may want to control everything they eat, at some point in your life you’re no longer going to be doing that, so start early. You are the one stocking the pantry and fridge so at least you can control the food that way, but make them pack their own meals and make their own breakfast.
Secretarial work – When your kids are old enough, make them fill out their own paperwork for school, and then simply give it to you to look over and sign. It will hold them accountable and get them ready for the day when they need to fill out college and job applications.
Delivery Service – Teens need to know the consequences of their actions, so if they’re not being responsible and forget things like their phone or uniform, don’t be there to solve all their problems, so next time they’ll maybe more careful.
Homework Help – If your kid is one of those who wait until the last minute to do their projects, don’t be an enabler and run out to get supplies at the last minute. This will make them realize they need to plan ahead if they need to get things done.
Doing all of their laundry – Every once in awhile remind kids that you’re not the only one who can do the laundry, which will teach them responsibility, and remind them that you don’t work for them.
Calling teachers and coaches – While it’s normal to want to intervene if your child is having an issue with a teacher or coach, the better move is to let them be the one to address it. Try to not get involved so your kid can learn how to handle conflict themselves.
Meddling in their daily academics – Try to be less involved in your child’s actual school work and trust that they are getting things done that needs to get done. Show that you care by asking them to show you their grades every now and then but don’t constantly hound them about how they are doing.